Religion-y-ish things

okay so while im catholic, and completely proud of my religion and loving of my God,  and believe he did create the universes, and there is only one God, I disagree with alot of the more. . . small details?
for instance (I dont know if everyone believes this or if its just one of the more seen features), the belief that only one of the most main-stream religions God is the actual God. I See it more as it is the same God - which it is, all the God of Abraham - Different, rules, per-say. ways to pray, beliefs of, etc.
   For instance, the belief God created the world in 7 days. I dont believe He said let there be this and then there was this. I believe it was more of. . . Saying this shall happen, and then this will cause this, and Finally create this. ((Giving also for the idea of 'fate' or 'destiny' or what ever you may call it - the idea God knows and controls what happens to us. I think its more of a 'Control these Check-Points.' sets up a beginning, middle(s) and End. What happens in between each, lesser so in control of.)) So back to the creation of the world/universe, this Also incorporates the physics, science, evolution, etc.
    I think the bible, like all Old Great Text, needs to be translated, to a more modern society. Like one would Shakespeare.Though of course also realizing that the text has been translated from other languages and age and dialect. its no longer face value, if it ever were. Because even if it was word of God, the Holy Spirit, it was still word written by a man. Sure, a man chosen by God, but still, As the words hit page, it  was already being translated from a holy speech, to general interpretations or  Cliff notes.

Now further more. I dont think all other older religions(of, in example, Greek, Roman, Norse, Aztec, etc) are myth, legend, or just bullshit. I think they all do hold relevance and truth. And if their gods were not just maybe great Kings or Rulers, or what ever have you, that had themselves coined as gods, they may have been, for those who were said to have powers, near superhumans. Or, well, Elites. And either they didnt have other words for this, or more likely, WE dont have better words for this. So, yes, I believe that many of these religions were based off maybe Rulers or men who thought them self better, or maybe just societies that found them to be this, and were worshiped, like we worship our God(s). but bottom line, i dont think they (all) were just stories picked from someones imagination. they had physicalities to them. Actual beings.

So. TO get to the point of all this,
  I think id like to experience the, Culture(?) Of ancient Greeks or Romans. Though, not exactly all of it. just, how society actually all was, not just what we find in books. How they  Actually did worship, or how often, not how much they were said to or suppose to (example, I (as a catholic) am suppose to go to church every sunday, sometimes wednesdays, Not eat meat (or fast) for lent, etc, etc). How things were actually conducted with people too, as for, well, okay so, how men were always suppose to be in an active, dominant type in typically any thing, as well as sex. then,  what would happen if it came out a man was submissive for a woman, how his neighbors would actually react ((ie, difference between Law and Government, and how your peers actually react)) and same with men in homosexual relationships. how these things were actually treated. I just, really want to know, as well, how people actually acted for their gods.




(((End note, I actually really tend to specify between my lower-case 'g' gods and upper-case 'g' God. as in, as for having lack of a better word for these 'elite' people in their society, they would call them gods. Superior to them, but not to the all higher force that is God.))

Okay, so, I and my brother were talking about Pokemon today,
and somehow we just ended up talking about how creepy some the Pokedex entries are.
So I looked some those up, and they really are. Some are just like, holy shit morally depressing,
some re holy shit, creep tastic. Kidnapping, stalking, loving the crying of children.
anyway,
We started talking about Prof. Oak's bullshit, and like, how he hates his grandson.
And then we got to  Lavender Town (one of Garys pokemon died their after he became a master or something, and Oaks just like, Obv. your not a master, or you wouldnt let your animals die)
and then just
Lavender Town
so
I looked it up and just
and just
okay weird.
Just weird
and
I was just on my Ipod, so I just asked him to tell me one the pokemon creepypasta stories, and he told me the "strangled red" or something one.
and
okay, creeeeeepy. Creepy.
cool though I guess.
and like, I heard where the guys insperation came from.
and
cool.
really cool.
SO like, (if you didnt know) the guy atually was tradding his Charizard with his older bro, who had used a cheat or sometihng to get most the Poke', so yeah, theyre trading it and all, and it actually did freeze, so the turn off and back on and the Charizard isnt on either, so just, the older bro goes to the kid(like age 8-10) "He got strangled by the cord in the transfer"
and just,
1) Dick older brother. Like, holy fuck. instantly telling my bro thanks for not being that big of a douche.
2)made this story lots cooler. Knowing backgroudn to things liek scary stories is always cool.

yeah so..yeah.
 

I'm getting really tired of my friends. . .

And, I dont know. . . its really awkward, beause, I really want new friends but, I ssort of suck at takig to people.

and I,
the reasons their pissing me off. . .

well, I have liek two really close friends.
one,
Alexis,
I just,
she. . .
Shes like, she thinks its weird im not talking about people I like all the time, but if I do . . . shes all weird about it.
Like, I'd love to tell her about it, If she wasnt such an asshole about it.
and,
I dress weird, okay.
and, I try not to be to horrendously unmatching though you know? Just because it pisses me off a bit, un less its just like, Fuck it, its clean and comfy. im wearing it.
But today, WE were walking aroudn and I was in camo shorts(they're the only clean shorts I have right now) and this blue really comfy shirt(clean and short sleaveeeed) and shes jsut asked why im not wearing the vest she bought me(Red jacket vest, black/grey stripes, red lining, awesome hood)(and the previous day she was complaining cuz it didnt match with what i was wearing) and im just like. . . It woulsnt really match y'knnow, and shes just like, So? you dont care, you wear what you want.
and Im just
fuck you.
fuck you you fucking asshole.
and she says shit- like mumbling yknow - liek how she doesnt think I'll every like have kids or be with some one, and shell say 'em one time were its like, you know im gonna hear it, but, when im like "what" shes just Nothing!
and
Holy fuck. If youre gonna be that kind of attrocious asshole, at least own up to it you fucking cock suckign whoreish cunt.
 and shes always bitching she not social or popular or what ever
and its like
shut the fuck up
you have so many more friends then I do(she always like, Youre my only friend~~~!), people like you, people think youre pretty, people what to date you - thats another thing.
she says people dont like her, bbut the guys who obviously do, like, look at her and smile and shit, and obviously want to get with her, If she doesnt find them attractive, then theyre creepy. Seriously. If a guy she deems attractive does the exact same thing, she loves it. shes so fucking shallow and I hate it. I hate it.
So much.
Shes also one of Those People.
SHe wants to leave her school now(ive been bugging her since school has started) just because her boyfriend wants to break up with her.

anyway,
my other friend,
Shes really pretty okay.
and like, I love her.
I do
Shes a best friend
But Im really just not hers.
I hate it.
Shes great and amazing, and I wish she could see that.
But, shes always complaining that shes not pretty or shit. and im just,
I wish I was half as attractive as you are.
 and,
Fuck, okay so, we're really close to my cousin, okay,
And, she tells him everything. like, everything, Boys, clothes, family and its just,
I hate she doesnt trust me at all.
and, anyway, my cousin talks to this other girl alot now to, and yeah, shes pretty and cool, and blonde/white.
well, I tihnks shes a bit of a prick, but shes alright, and alot of people like her.
And so, she gets so pissy if hes talking to her.
shes cried.
while She, Him, her, and I were walking. (She jsut turned a different street then us) and im just. . . Im right here. I
I want to takl to you.
I liek to talk to you.
talk to me.
Im here.
Adn
shit it really fucking hurts when that shit happens, okay.
adn shes just
shes one of those people that pussys out of debates adn im just fuck
 no you strated this, come back and get your proper fucking asskicking, or kick mine. one or the other, douchebag!
but thats my problem
but, what realy pisses me off
she s always like
I wanna make memories!
I wanna do something new!
Just waiting for something new and exciting to happen!
I love doing crazy things with friends!
and.
she doesnt
at all
I sugeust some stuff, and she just looks at me weird
and
I want to do interesting things
i dotn want to sit on my ass all day
 I want friends who will do things with me!
 and last year, I wanted to go to homecoming, and dances, and games, and
just
she didnt want to.
So, I had no one else to go with.
so i was screwed
but this year, she says she wants to go.
SO we probably will.
but
its
I feel like I got to now.
becacuse she wants me to
and
i hate she wont do this shit for me
but
I dont know.


Friends are getting tiring
and boring
and I hate it

It pisses me off

When people are all "Oh, just love the body you're in!"
But its like, No.

You are morbidly obese.
Whether you acknowledged it or not.
And that is not okay.
it is not okay, because it is not healthy and you are slowly dieing.
That is not something to be proud of.
or,
You are anorexic.
You need protein.
You need  meat on your bones.
So it is not okay.
Because you are not healthy.


Even if your just overweight (I am, now.(and losing weight, because I realize, ITISNOTHEALTHY)) you should just be proud of who you are.
Dont hate yourself, But understand the fact, Its not healthy.
Dont encourage me to stay the way I am.
Even if I do love who I am,
I Am Not Healthy.
And I should be.


Its not bullying, its being practical.
Im not sayign its disgusting.
Im not saying its terrible for the fact you are fat or a stick.
Im saying its bad, because its not healthy.

Love the mind and life you are given, and respect it enough to keep your body healthy, so that you can live that out as long as possible.

YOu know those times when you really wanna form a coherent thought, and write it down,
and be meaningful and shit, and, and, yeah?
Like, proper fucking writing? Or Journalism? Or other wise?
But then you find some music to rok the mood of whatever it is youre writing, because that always helps, adn then you, you start writing,
But,
But. . .
Then you start sort of. . .
Moving back and forth,
Tapping your foot,
Humming,
NoNoNO, write. WriteWriteWrITEGODDAMNIT.SHITSHITSHIT.
adn then you go bak to every thing previous and Start singing a bit and its like goddamn.
GODDAMN.
And you go  to shut the music off but,
OH WAIT.
FAVOURITE PART RIGHT HERE.
ROCK OUT.
NOW.
YESSSSSSS.
And then the music never goes off.
and writing is never done.
and sleep. What is that? To busy MOTHERFUCKING LISTEN TO MUSIC.
no writing or reading or gaming.
just,
MUSIC.
yeah.



So, thats why I usally dont write much of meaning on here.
or anywhere.

at all.

I SLEPT.

I THINK.
well, yeah okay I know I did.
at least for like, and hour and a half.
Because I dreamed.
About gay sex.
And,
it wasnt half bad.
until it ended.
and, no i wouldnt be telling you this just for the shits and giggles, no.
It ended abruptly when Mr.Really-Fuckign-Hot's face decides to Morph into your Best dude friends face.
admittingly, one of the more attractive dude friends that I have, but, still.
ew.
It was just like OMFGBBQWTF DO NOT WANT. DO NOT WANT //wakes up terrified.

So then I looked for ways to fall asleep. And I found an app, Relax with Andrew Johnson. and, admittingly, probably a dumb idea to use this, as it its suppose to ". . . " Okay, I swear it said somewhere that it helped you unwind and be ready and awake for the day or something. . . but anyway, Used it to try and relax. And, I did relax. But, i also really didnt feel like I needed to sleep either.
So I read some Nosh fics.((omgdksgjfdkgshfdkgsdf gNosh<3 there needs to be more of you<3))
And then I learned about Sleeping patterns. and then I got linked to "7 mind bending dreams" on livescience.com.And let me say this.
The guys over at LiveScience, are COMPLETE DICKS.
Seriously.
One of the '7' on that are someshit about nightmares. and the motherfuckign photo. THE MOTHERFUCK ---and now someones pestering me. Like seriouesly. at the oddest times. --
PHOTO.
--i seriously cannot put up with a conversation right now. Im sorry "arcaneMobilizer" whoever thefuck you are. Its just. Mother fuck. Sleep deprivation and photos and Gay sex gone wrong... //sigh --- 

Just... JUST GO LOOK. ITS SHIT. JUST JAKGFJDSFIUAUSFIAS GOOD BYE SLEEPING.

and then I went to sleep disorders to Sexsomina  to masturbation to . . . Fuck masturbation and its history is fucking weird. I couldnt stop laughing. Just go look it up on Wikipedia. I has new facts to share now.

*Eygyption Mythology - Universe started cuz Atum was Jacking off. Flow of the Nile has to do with the amount of his ejaculate at any given time. Pharaohs had to cum in the Nile for a ceremony sometimes.

*Greek Myth - Hermes taught Pan(his son) because Pan wanted Echo, but couldnt have her, And Hermes wanted to . . . Relieve his suffering. Pan then passed it on to young shepherds.

*May = Masturbation month, Because it used to be a national masturbation day, But it jsut jumped aroudn so,,,,, month it is!!

*Longest time masturbating(Male) 10hours, 10minutes Sonny Nash.

*theres a fund raising Marathon for masturbation. I forgot the US name for it, but the UK is Wank-a-thon. I have no clue how this works. 

*Corn flakes creator and Grahm cracker creator were anti-masturbation.

*The history of why 'masturbating is bad for you' is so fucking hilarious, and yet Painful sounding. . . read up on it.

anywaynanywayanyway,

I also tried to sleep again, and then sometihng in the corner fell, so I got up. 

Then I decided, I'm not doing anything s figure out what the fuck fifty shades of gray is.

Its ridiculous. 

completely.

Snowqueen Icedragon? Really? what are you, Five?

complete and utter bullshit.

then i read more Nosh.

Cause thats sooo not bullshit.

then i realized it was like, six, so i got up, turned on the light, took a piss, got some apple juice, 

and now I'm here. 

Typing.

in my boxers.

cause no ones up to see or care about my fuckign awesome batman boxers.

But you care. Dont you, internet?

of import, Let

 DONT YOU?!!?!?!!?!?!

I got carried away, I admit. . . I blame so much...

I've been feeling the need to yell this to the world fro a while, and I wasnt gonna do it cause no one cares, but presently a few things I've seen have thrown me over into letting you nonexistent people know this.

So, my AO3 invitation (no, havent gotten it(insertepiclysadsmileNOW.) But, I signed up for an invitation, I dunno, 2 or 3 months ago. and At first my invitation was estimated to show up some time around December 19th. then in a month it was the 3. the just a month ago it bopped from November 26 to october 16. now its october 4th.
and I'm  not gonna bitch about that.. In fact I'm extremely happy about how soon I feel this is. And the fact It might happen sooner. (im going to make an extremely sad and pathetic analogy. So, I'll state this, I dont this an invitation to this website is at all equal to a first kiss. but It is something that one can feel stupidly proud about, Like how it seems in primary school. Like just gloating rights.) Its like waiting for a first kiss. You cant wait for this milestone that can set you above the others around you. or the growth spurt to make you stand out from them. Its special and great. and its better to wait for it to come naturally instead of try and force it out. Because when that happens it removes all specialty from it. Dont rush through it. patience is the virtue that makes life special.  (this turned into a small rant about kids in my old primary school : | I dont even know why. Ima explain it now. because. . . BecauseofReasonsOkay!?)
Kids in my primary school would always try and see who got kissed first, who was taller, who was better in sports, who went through puberty first (idontevenknowman), who got the 'coolest' things, who lost their virginity. . . Yeah. Primary school.
And for I while I Sort of went with the gossip and such, and thought these were all that important too, but then, I mean, you grow up and understand, eventually, it either doesnt matter, Or matters way to much to be comparing who was First I'd rather compare who took their time, and fell in love, and didnt care what the others said. //sigh. Primary school . . . I would try and do it over, if I could.
(aiyfuahsdfaidsvjadiofvd I only got so inspirational feeling through this because im listening to a playlist that exposes all my moherfucking feels.)(it was suppose to be about bitches complaining about OMFGASDBAKJSDJAKSD AO3 u dix! y i gotz 2 wait so muthrfukin looooooooooong?!!?!/fvaa)

Stydia, Sterek. and. . . ALOT more Teen Wolf.

I sort of like both. Really.
But the thing is, while I think Sties crushing on Lydia  is the cutest thing ever, and that they could match personalities well, Idont think Lydia would go for it in the long haul. I think she would fall towards Jackson to much(and I'll say it now, yes, I think Lydia/Jackson was a good pair(dotheyhaveafuckingnameomgidontknowitsdfasdfja), and though the time I questioned it, Were times I now want to believe were 'cause he was going a bit batshit and wasnt in complete control.).
So. I really dont think I should be voicing these ideas/opinions because they're stupid, but I'm gonna say it anyway because they've been nagging my mind for  ages. So, here it goes.

If anything I would think Stiles & Lydia might start dating, and then it be going pretty well and shit and they had good times and shit, but eventually maybe come to realize it might not be completely couple-ly like. I sort of think Lydia would be the first to voice this, though Stiles would have known it and have had it nagging at the back of his head and first be a bit sad but, you know be yeah,  and it was a mutual break up and they'd be good friends, and be the best  sarcasm pair ever. And that'd be it. Because, to sum up, while I think its cute, and would totally ship them, I think they'd be better in a friendship. I dont get romantic-y chemistry vibes from it. or sexual vibes. cool-snarky-best-friend-vibes, yeah.
But, again, Lydia and Jackson get chem-and-sex-vibes. totally.

And, this totally does not have to have Sterek in it. But because I'm such a SterekShipper, I need to have it in here. Because that can totally end with Stiles being with Derek. Because while he's with Lydia, Derek can be all questionably irritable and upset, and pushing around Stiles a lot more, and being aggressive with him and shit. and Stiles is all WTF I think we were done with this shit in our 'friendship' 'acquaintance' WTH. (Because, lately, Derek has already stopped most of that in our current episodes. and it's obviously gonna be a while before Lydia gets in a relationship, and hopefully by that time, Derek only roughs Stiles up at appropriate, unquestionable times.) But anyway, eventually, Derek would move on from that and maybe sort of ignoring/avoiding Stiles as best as he can, and Stiles would eventually notice, and try and pass it off as a good thing for a while, and then as if its nothing, but eventually be like Dude, I knew we werent the best of friends but I didn think we hated each other! . . . I was actually thinking we were friends for a bit there? Or what, No 'Big-Bad-Wolf' can be friends for the 'Weak-Little-Human'?! and, I dunno, weather this is before or after Lydia and him end things but, you know if its before, Derek can be all just, you cant understand this alright /rage but if its after it can be all like /angst(ish), /rage, /Suprise-Mother-Fucking-Kiss.

(whycantIwritegoodfics,motherfuckingshit,Iwishicouldwritebecausethiswouldbeafic.Some one write that all for me in a nice super awesome fic. serious. this is Sterek Teen wolf prompt awesomeness. (notreally. butIlike to believe.)

And Ima take this times to say if Sterek does become cannon, i dont want them to dive into it to hard. Like none of what people seem to want. Like hardcore out of the blue Iloveyou's and sex everywhere, and tongues down throat 24/7,
But a slow, coming to realization, angst, drama, UST, Hard Obvious-but-trying-not-to-be Flirting (and bad flirting too. maybe. while we're at it.), and stiles Dad finding out would be great*. But yeah. I mean, age difference and all. . . I mean, I think Stiles and Scott and most the gang has to be at least 16.  I mean, I've never heard of freshmen being Captain's or first string to varsity lacrosse teams. and then Derek . . . birthdays November, 1988. . .So this year he'd be 24. . . 2011(current Cannon time) he'd be 23. . .but right now its. . .March(?), so he's 22 right now. . so its a 6-7 year difference? more on that when we know Stiles' motherfuckng birthday. A part of me sort of wishes that they havent said anything on they're ages yet due to they dont want to muck shit up if they decide to give into fans. but I know thats crazy.


*okay, this is weird, but, I have like this hardcore belief on how hilariously awesome it would be if Stilinski Sr. found out by walking in on them, like, it doesnt even have to be walking in any anything hardcore, but, maybe just standing to close for it not to be questionable(Derek pushing stiles up agenst a wall(OMG even if Sterek doesnt become cannon(which it probably wont but still) that would be hilarious to see. Like Derek pushing Stiles up against his wall in his bedroom just trying to intimating or what ever, but Stilinski Sr. just walks into Stiles room then and sees him and thinks hes walking in on a private moment and freaks out(in a total non-homophobic way... more like omg I just walked in on my son possibly making out with someone. who was a guy. who was mother fucking Derek fucking used to be a possible murderer fucking hale. What.The.FUCK.)And Stiles freaks out cause his dad is freaking out thinking he's gay(butheyatleastsomeonethinkshe'satractivetogayguys) and his dads all like(from the  other side of the door 'cause he totally slammed that shit closed first thing after he saw) Yeah, Stiles, Gonna have to talk to you. After your. . . 3 minutes alright. Bring your. . . (friend?) Derek (fucking) Hale along too. That'd be great. really fucking great.) , or kissing, or what ever small things, But yeah. this was suppose to be a small note. . . till I got to the wall thing. . ./sigh.


and also, while o sterek talk, I hate it when people use the "two people, together, who . . nobody though would ever be together - EVER" "No, I could see that. . ." in sterek videos, 'cause it hits me right in the feels. NOT sterek feels. Stydia feels, and my own feels, and oh my God, feels. And it throws the sterek feel off. I dont like it.

Why do the het ship names (like Scallison and Stydia) sound like diseases? seriously. No wonder few amounts  of people go crazy over shipping them. I mean seriously.


FURTHERFUCKING MORE.
Reason I dont Ship Stiles/Erica: During all the few times that could have been them, I thought it was cause Derek told the kids pack to get close to them. And she thought you know. Friends with the know it all could be useful as fuck. How do I, sexually-revamped-Erica get close to the highschool-Boy-who-it-seems-no-one-finds-attractive(inshow)? lets say I got major crushes. and talk Batman. but talking batman is always cool.
also. Isaac/Erica. <-----------------------------------------------------------yes.
please.
now.




and
just. . .
Isaac . . . Lahey.
just. . .
Just you.
your.
yes.



I've been humming/singing Ludo's Love Me Dead all the way through this. because of this Lydia&Peter Vid. OMG. great song


alsoalsoalso, Listen/View/jackoff to this. because givahjdsvnaldvd the song, the editing, the pairing the motherfuckingfuckbucketsoffuckmmmmmmmfh.yeeessssss.

update: 
Oh, and also, I really fucking want to download the Jarek&Jamie you know;) but I fiercely dont want to risk the virus'. . . .the temptation.

LARRY. (you allmight just wanna ignore this.)

So. . .  (For the TL;DR, pretty much summarized if you just go to the bolds:))
thins is gonna be awkward, and take me for ages(because I'm gonna try and make sure I spell shit right, and have spaces.), and. . . you all probably just dont care.
But, continuing on.
If your a fan of One Direction, You've probably at least dipped your toes into their online fandom - meaning mostly tumblr right now - and have a type on opinion on Larry or Elounor(I'm sorry if that ship name is spelt wrong :T).
And have gone on to see the ship wars.
which, I honestly believe is all the crazies fault. by this I mean the people that say larryis 99% likely to be real, while Elounor is 100% chance being management(*). When seriously, It should be less then 1% chance(because I'm to paranoid to say 0%)of Larry being real like they want it to be, and similar chances of Elounor being fake.
And its like, if a person ships Larry, like I do(just so  we dont makeany misunderstandings  here, I Ship Larry Stylinson.)(but, See the previous, less that 1%chances across the board here!), then NO shipping Elounor(which isnt even shipping,its real.), its like, ultimate NO in the Larry fandom. Which is ridiculous, because, review  1%. And Louis and Eleanor are adorable. Really. a fucking 3D cake, a fucking Tea, and, not that I give a shit about Rhianna, but RHIANNA. SERIOUSLY?! adorable. Truely.
And while I love the hilariousness, and Sexiness, of what I've seen of Larry, I treat it like I do any other ship that  comes from  TVshows, or the like(Except for Sterek . . .that one I just dont know about. . .), It's Never Gonna Happen IRL.
As much as you, and I, wish it could(i'd mean I wouldnt have to  feel creepy about this, and actual kisses, and well, hopefully somesexy GIFs:)).

FUTHER FUCKING MORE. assholes missusing the word shipping. Shipping as  a mother fucking couple. theres no "Oh, I ship larry!. . . .NO  EW. Not as a couple; BROMANCE." NO. FUCK YOU. ASSHAT.


*sigh, Management. Many people sometimes think  this is just a Larry shippers scape goat. . .which for a lot, it really is now. But, I doubt that there isnt a 'management' of sorts changing things around a bit. Because all bands, and such, do have them. So yeah, they(or the people writing articles) might paraphrase shit, yeah. But not choose who dates or doesnt or how they act. I mention the articles, because mainly the Crazies say the reason Louis saying Larry shippers were hurting his relationship with Harry  and Eleanor wasnt really him is because they were articles, not videos or voice recordings. anyone could have written that. Probably  Management, because  they dont joke like our boys do.About their serious relationship issues. Yep. Crazies.