I have a lot of meaningful conversations in my head.

And, By conversations, I dont mean I just like, run off ideas like I'm the only one here.
I make up people, or people in my life, have their voice - their face - in my head, talking to me.
I have settings there that just come along.
Tone, motions, everything.
And,
Sometimes. . .
I really
really wish it was really happening because then I could just get some fucking help.
Because my mind just likes to fuck with me.

I really just sort of wish I could actually say these things out loud.
Or at least record them down.
But I
I jsut cant you know.

And


Jesus,
I really really hate it.

They're conversations I really should be having
but
its hard
really really hard.